For real labor vs. 90210 labor

In our house, we watch 90210 reruns. A lot.

We watch them on Saturday morning, alternating between that, Blue's Clues, ESPN (yuck) and the Food Network (yum). There are also reruns conveniently on just after I get home from work. Olivia likes to dance to the theme song - a 90210 fan in training. One day, I'll teach her about all the wonders of this spectacular show and we'll watch a marathon of all of the episodes. (Don't even get me started on the "new" 90210, which I will admit to watching, but not enjoying.)

If you've watched the (original) show, you know the story lines aren't always the most realistic and are most frequently downright ridiculous.


Sometimes, the writers strayed away from the usual story lines (Kelly loves Dillon, no she loves Brandon, no she loves Dillon, Steve tries unsuccessfully yet again to get some action with his 80's mullet and too-tight jeans, David tries yet again to take Donna's virginity, etc.).


But one of the most outrageous of them all was when Nat married that old chick, Joanie - his old flame - and her water broke during the ceremony. First of all, she's like 60 (not that 60-year-olds can't have babies, but it doesn't happen often, as far as I know). Second of all, what is WITH the way TV shows portray labor and delivery? Do they not do ANY research at all? Anyone watching knows it rarely happens that way.

These shows, and this one particular 90210 episode was an extreme example, portray it as this huge whirlwind of drama (maybe condensed for the sake of time?) with water breaking followed by immediate intense contractions and breathing and screaming and being rushed through the halls of the hospital on a stretcher to TADA! there's the baby! Perfectly clean and about 3 months old and practically speaking its first words right there, moments after emerging from his mother's womb.

All of us who have been there know it totally doens't happen this way.

Case in point:
My water broke while I was at work, but it didn't completely break, so I wasn't even entirely sure it was even broken. So just in case, I took an early lunch break and went to Wawa to fill up my tank (I needed gas if I was going to the hospital) and grab some lunch (I was NOT about to go into labor on an empty stomach and ice chips were so not going to cut it.)
And it was agood thing I did because I ended up laboring for count them 24 whole hours before Olivia decided to make her grand entrance at 2:04 p.m. the following day.

There was a lot of drama, yes, right around the time when I was about 8 cm. dilated, writhing in pain from the pitocen-induced contractions that were ripping my insides apart every 60 seconds and the f*&(%*#$$^*(@#*&*%(#g anesthesiologist dared be stuck on icy roads on the way to work....but that didn't happen for at least 10+ hours after my water "broke" in the office.

My point is I'd like to seriously write a letter to Hollywood and tell them to do some research because they really have it all wrong.

And by the way, writing this post just brought on a near-anxiety attack at the idea of going through all that again. I can only hope everyone is telling me the truth when they say the second one comes much more quickly than the first.